You're ascribing some lazy stereotypes and some genuinely toxic personality traits to an entire profession, and shrugging saying "sorry folks, if your partner is a programmer, this is your life, get used to it". Absolutely ridiculously bad advice. You're describing a really dysfunctional and one-sided relationship.

If you're a "programmer" and recognise these traits in yourself - especially if you aspire to them and see nothing wrong with that- you should do a serious inventory of your life. Is that who you want to be? If you are "stressed to the limit" or "owned by [your] bosses to whom [you] cannot say no", you need to look for a better job. That is not healthy.

If you take out your irritation, frustration, or your stress on your partner and you love your partner, you need to do better. In a few years' time when you're burned out from this apparently very stressful job, your boss will sure as shit not be picking up the pieces. If you treat your partner in the ways portrayed in this article, they probably won't be either.

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I’m a Senior Software Developer at Flick Electric where I write mostly Ruby on Rails. I also dabble in any language that takes my fancy.

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Adam Henley (He/Him)

Adam Henley (He/Him)

I’m a Senior Software Developer at Flick Electric where I write mostly Ruby on Rails. I also dabble in any language that takes my fancy.

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